07/08/04 -- City Slogan Suggestions
In keeping with the community spirit of trying like heck to reel in those stubborn tourists, I want to help out with our city's new slogan.
Since I actually live in Dallas, know where a lot of bodies have been buried since 1962 and am not trying to build a public/private edifice somewhere and keep all of the equity, I feel qualified to recommend some slogans.
That "Think Big, Live Large" loser of a motto sounds more like a come-on for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Not a good slogan for America's third fattest city.
It's time to come up with something a little bit more realistic. How about:
It's not your fault, It's not my fault, It's the asphalt.
Sorry, We're Open.
We could always pay for a huge sign for that one to hang from the new Spanish Inquistion Bridge approved by That Girl with the gavel.
Some even suggest we come up with a catchy saying to
Keep the people we've already got from leaving.
How about (for the world's worst city council):
Don't shoot me, I'm not a gorilla, I just work on Marilla.
Surely, one of these will work. And something had better work since a lost soul here on business from Peoria doesn't have anything to do and pays through the nose in taxes. And we haven't even hit 'em with the Cowboy tax yet. Oh well, they can always decide to stay and get on the city council.